WHEN A ROLL OF TP WAS A VICTORY — THE 2-PLY SAGA
Victory in 2020 was new and different. What we all considered routine occurred like obstacles on the “Amazing Race.” I quickly learned that I could no longer take anything for granted.
Securing a pack of toilet paper after a three-store scavenger hunt and entering into a battle royale to squeeze the last roll of Charmin — WINNING!
Walking into a store without waiting on line — YESSSS!!!
Trader Joe’s has my favorite loaf of bread in stock, amazing, but no butter. WTH!
Finding some place outside to breathe without fearing disease, endless gratitude.
Taking a peaceful moment to hug a tree — ask Cali and Australia if that’s a victory.
Living through the COVID virus attacking my body at home alone and realizing it is not the flu, definitely a win, and only time will tell if it’s a victory.
Casting a sane presidential vote after standing on line an hour and a half — well on January 20th it finally became a historic victory.
Making it home alive as a Black man any day. Sadly that’s still a victory in 2021.
The big reveal that 2020 provided like a mirror being held up to my soul is victory is sometimes just surviving to see another day because I did lose loved ones along the way. It’s that simple.
Yet victory is not always winning.
vic·to·ry | \ ˈvik-t(ə-)rē
1 : the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist
2 : achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties
There’s a delight to winning. Although I’m sure I have not always experienced it. I’ve had success undoubtedly but that joyful feeling was often replaced by relief.
I can remember countless times when my celebration came in the form of an exhale:
Making that eleventh hour advertising sale to make sure rent for my apartment was paid and a dynamic Black-owned magazine kept printing — whew.
Getting a dumpster moved from in front of a New York photography studio I had rented to host a black carpet event for a corporate client twenty minutes before 400 people would arrive — hallelujah.
Accepting an offer from stellar comedian Michael Colyar who was a guest at an awards gala I was producing at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel to do his stand-up routine for free while we were dealing with technical difficulties — yes sir.
Negotiating a first class round trip ticket to L.A. with American Airlines for sponsorship of an event I created with no budget — come on now. Plus, I met director Ron Howard on the flight back who asked me, “So what were you doing in L.A.?”
Being so broke during the recession that I sold bottles of spirits I received as gifts from grandiose events to young guys enjoying music while sipping from their brown bags on a Harlem stoop so I could go buy groceries — real talk.
Taking the opportunity granted by my academic success to leave my home in the Sedgwick Houses projects of the Bronx, NY at the age of 13 to go live in suburban Ardmore, PA and attend Lower Merion H.S. thanks to A Better Chance and the Fieldston Enrichment Program — legendary.
Unbeknownst to many outside of my family it also allowed me to escape the chaos of a home where domestic violence was the norm.
Thirty-eight years later I chair an organization committed to preventing domestic/interpersonal violence and promoting gender justice called CONNECT.
I’ve had some victories.
Yet that winning feeling was not always there. I always remembered it as being lifted up and moved forward but way too often experienced it, as I did it, in the nick of time.
So in 2021, I’m adding layers of new possibilities and dismantling old paradigms.
MAKING A WAY OUT OF NO WAY is a win, all day, every day. I’m speaking it, living it, wearing it and feeling it.
Looking at my 2020 reflection I’m clear I can’t take a person or a moment for granted so having joy along the way is the only reality worth living. I invite you to do the same.
